A Day in the Life of the WEH’s Diet

This is a guest post by the Wendy’s Eating Husband. He writes code to make awesome websites in downtown Seattle.

For weeks and weeks, and months and months, Dr. Archer has been nagging nudging me to track what I eat in one day, from sun-up to sun-down. I knew what she was getting at. She was hoping for a heaping dose of shock value to all you healthy eaters out there regarding the things that actually were permitted entrance to my GI tract. I kept telling myself that it wouldn’t be that bad. That it would be no big deal.

Last week, I finally gave in to her pleas for WEH food transparency. I took the camera with me to work in downtown Seattle, and I documented everything. No matter how atrocious. No matter how healthy (that’s optimism, folks)! You’re getting the full scoop.

Welcome to the food in a day in the life of the Wendy’s Eating Husband.

8:36 AM – Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Chocolate Milk

After arriving at work, I feel the first pang of hunger. This isn’t usually the case. Most of the time I’ll wait for lunch for food to feel at home in my stomach. But I had skipped a decent dinner the night before, and also chose to not eat so many snacks close to bedtime.

I opted for one of my favorite childhood cereals (which I had recently added to my office’s Costco list): Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I also couldn’t resist a box of chocolate milk to garnish the lonely side of my bowl.

10:20 AM – Coffee

After a quick morning stand-up scrum meeting, it was time to get coding. Still feeling a little foggy headed (Archer would say from the dairy overload earlier), I decided I needed some coffee.

Even after managing several Starbucks in the airport, I don’t really consider myself a coffee drinker. I’m just not one of those people who wakes up and is a terrible person until he gets his fix. I do, however, appreciate coffee: its source location, subtle variances in roast, method of preparation, and personal post-processing (to cream and sugar, or not to cream and sugar?). It really is a beautiful and unique experience of a thing.

12:08 PM – Calozzi’s Pepper Cheesesteak (Or, Dear God What Have I Done)

So far, not so good. But little did I know this day would quickly take a turn for the terrible. Even worse than the epitome of a bad food day for the Wendy’s Eating Husband.

It all started on a restaurant suggestion for a friend’s birthday lunch. He’s been wanting to go to Calozzi’s for as long as I can remember. In my defense, and I want this to be clear: I have never been to Calozzi’s. This is not a usual type of place I eat lunch! My lunch typically consists of a sandwich and malt shake from Potbelly, Thai food, or teriyaki. But nothing this unhealthy…

I’m not going to lie, it did taste delicious. Though its sogginess factor from grease was off-the-charts, it was worth it to feel at home a bit and get something straight out of Philly. This place is the real deal.

12:39 PM – Mexican Coke

After a meal like that, my body felt pretty thirsty. I needed something to cut the grease residue still lingering in my mouth. Water wouldn’t do it. No, I needed something stronger. Something bubbly. Something acidic.

Even though I rarely drink soda these days (I can’t remember the last time I even bought soda or had it in our house), I do occasionally feel the call of a good old glass bottle of Coca-Cola from Mexico, which my workplace provides. This south of the border version uses cane sugar rather than the State’s high fructose corn syrup. Healthy win?

3:08 PM – Water

Finally, something I can honestly say I am better off for having consumed. I usually drink water throughout the day, but today was already off-kilter a bit from the breakfast dairy-OD, to the coffee, then the coke. Water just had to keep waiting its turn in line.

After the grossness of lunch wore off, my body was ready for something pure and nourishing, maybe even hoping to flush out all the bad things from earlier.

I’m sorry, body, really. This glass of water was my “I’m sorry, please take me back” card to try to make up with my body.

3:47 PM – TCBY

Round 2 of the coworker’s birthday celebration led us on a late afternoon sweets run. We settled on TCBY. And look what I found! Is that… no, it can’t be… a GLUTEN FREE SIGN. This must be a sign. An omen. Like I was meant to be here.

Even if I did end up smothering the yogurt with rainbow jimmies, chocolate chips, maraschino cherries, and caramel sauce…

8:55 PM – Salad

After getting home, and shuffling the kids off to bath and bed, it was time to get back to work on some around-the-house stuff. The current project at hand was painting a frame I built for our bathroom mirror (even though the mirror would later go on to crack the morning after installing).

After about an hour and 3 coats of paint, my wonderful wife offered to make me some food and to take break. She prepared a lovely salad. I’m not going to lie, that salad tasted great. After a day full of dietary WMD’s against my body, I finally felt at peace. This salad was cold, fresh, all-natural, and easy on the stomach.

As annoying as it can be having an naturopathic doctor as a wife, I sure am glad to have someone that continues to keep nudging me toward my best self, health and all, even when I drop the ball.

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